Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
