all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the day after is always just damage control
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
