I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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