I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
