I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
