You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
