oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My nipple is on Facebook.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
