i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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