You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
