it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
