Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
