O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
