This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
