so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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