glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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