I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
