we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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