there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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