I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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