i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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