You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
