That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
