For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
