We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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