How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
