i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
