The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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