I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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