Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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