Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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