just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
