Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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