is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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