# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
