YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
