I puked a lego.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
