Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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