You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
