he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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