you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
