I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize