The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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