I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
