I wanna bring you to show and tell
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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