Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
