i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
