I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
