Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize