OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
even my farts smell like vagina
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
