She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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