She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
