I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
