So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
