i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
