just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He did a backflip because drugs
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