last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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