i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
