How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
