dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
