how can u be prego again
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
