In America we eat man semen.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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