A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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